Monday, July 09, 2007

I have learned many things...

I have learned many things from marriage. Some of them good, and some of them bad. This weekend, a fire was kindled in my stomach. This fire is not unlike the fire I get in my stomach when I think of Dan Quayle or Al Gore appointing Supreme Court Justices.

This fire was kindled by more harsh words from the mouth of the woman who claims to love me. I hate lying, and realized this weekend that not only does she not love me, but she hasn't for at least five years. I wonder if she ever did - I wonder if her frequent jokes of, "At least I got my house out of it!" were not jokes at all, but were statements of fact that accurately describe what her goals were when marrying me.

Compromise on anything of significance is unknown to her. With an item of significance, it is an all or nothing proposition, and if she doesn't get her way on an order of completeness that is well over 90%, then you are trampling her, domineering, uncaring, and inflexible. Contrariwise, if you ask of her what she asks of you (ask for her to sacrifice something), you're bothering her and being unreasonable because it is clearly too much for her to do.

So, my lovely wife, when you told me, "It doesn't always have to be roses" when I brought home flowers, when you told me, "Call me and let me know what they say" when I was told to go to the ER for an emergency EKG, and when you told me that I create an aura of tension in the entire house by my very presence, you made things absolutely clear.

As I am peripheral to you and a blockade to your entire life, and all I ever did for you was provide you with a house, I'd like to present you with a middle finger. I'd like to thank you for having taught me to hate.