Yesterday night when I was talking to my brother, he told me that if I want to see my mother again, I'd better get out to California to see her pretty soon. She has terminal bone and liver cancer, but what I think is going to kill her is her case of the flu she's fighting right now. Her chemo messes up her immune system and is hurting her ability to fight this illness.
Anyway, prayers are welcome and asked for.
God...I thought I was used to the idea...I mean, it's been over three years that we've known about this...but my Mom is dying. I can hear her dying when I call her. She's wasting away and there's nothing I can do, and even if I make it out there this week, I know I probably won't be there for her when she dies.
I haven't been a very good son to her. I've been a big disappointment to her in more ways than I can count. I guess this is just another way I'll be a disappointment...I won't be there for her in her hour of greatest need.
Sorry for the gloom. For some reason, I'm just not feeling so hot today.