Tuesday, August 29, 2006

It's a beautiful world we live in...

It's a beautiful world we live in...

...it's not for me.

How is it that such ugliness can live in such a beautiful world?

How is it that such beauty can live in such an ugly world?

The dichotomy of evil within a shell that radiates goodness and morality has me stumped right now. How can evil have a beautiful side? It's insidious, and it draws you in, while you believe that you are with someone good and right.

Then you see the corruption. The under-side. The filth.

We all have our quirks, peccadillos, and demons that haunt us through our day to day lives. It is acting upon them that makes the difference between being good and being evil. How is it that an otherwise nice person can do such horrible things - to children, the elderly, the helpless, or to those who are not smart enough to be able to protect themselves against the predators in the world?

Also - why is it that otherwise ordinary human beings wish harm and death upon those who have done evil? Is there no room for hope that this person may repent what they have done? Is there no forgiveness for those who are genuinely sorrowful for what they have done? I hear people that call themselves Christian calling out for the deaths of others for the crimes they have committed, and all too often, I do not hear the voice calling out to help them when their punishment is complete.

I have to battle and struggle to forgive my niece and nephew every day. I know that I can forgive them someday if I try hard enough; I have a hard time though - these beautiful children deserved better than what they got. Heck, they deserve better than me.

With that said; I hope I can forgive my niece and nephew someday. I hope I can forgive Steve Decker for his predations. I hope I can someday forgive those who have wronged me, much in the same way God has forgiven me.

It became clear to me how far from righteousness that I was when my brother told me in no uncertain terms that God was sick of me. I've been trying of late - mostly working on forgiveness and giving to others. I think I've gotten better, and though I know I'll never be good enough for Him, His forgiveness can help me.

Sorry for the stream of consciousness posting, but I've got a lot on my mind.



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